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What do masturbation and Billiards have in common?

Q: What do Billiards and masturbation have in common?

A: it's all about the stroke!

Luis Suarez

What's Luis Suarez favorite food?


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Hockey Jokes

Listed below is a collection of Funny Hockey Sports Jokes, Jokes about Hockey. has a large funny joke collection sorted by sport category

  Little boy want to live with the toronto maple leaf
A 6 year old Boy that is living with his Grandparents. He was told that he can go and live with one of his parent but can't stay with his Grandparent because they are very sick and will die soon. His parents at court fighting for the kid but the judge wants to know which parent the kid want to live with. One day when the boy is at his Grandparents house a Chidlren Aid Worker comes to talk to him. The Children Aid Worker says to the kid "Do you want to live with your mom??" The boy looks and says "I don't want to go and live with my mom because she beats me" the Children Aid Worker says "Then do you want to live with your dad????????" The Boy looks at the Children Aid Worker and says "No i do not want to live with my dad becasue he beats me too" The Children Aid Worker said to the Boy "Then who do you want to live with" The boy looks at the Children Aid Worker and says "I want to leave with the Toronto Maple Leafs" The Chidren Aid Worker Say " Why do you want to live with the Toronto Maple Leafs??????" The Boy looks at the Children Aid Worker and says " Because they never beat anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Unicycle Hockey
Photo of people playing unicycle hockey.
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  Hockey Player Math
A hockey coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we really need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this: What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?!" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had given the right answer. Suddenly, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
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  Old Hockey Injury
Sandy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Joe, noticed and asked Sandy what happened. Sandy replied, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while." Joe, "Gee, I never knew you played hockey." Sandy, "Oh I don't play. I hurt it last year when I lost $100 on the Stanley Cup play-offs. I got mad and put my foot through the television."
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  What Do You Believe Hockey Is
Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux and Steve Yzerman all die and meet in heaven. God is sitting in his chair waiting for them. God says to the three legends, gentlemen before I let you in, you must tell me what you believe. "Mario we'll start with you, in what do you believe?" "I believe hockey is the greatest thing in the world and the best sport in history". To that God says "take the seat to my left". God then turns to Steve and says, "Steve, in what do you believe?" To which Steve replies "I believe to be the best, you've got to give every ounce you've got!" To that God says "take the seat to my right". God then turns to number 99 and says "Wayne, tell me what do you believe?" To which Wayne replies "I believe you are sitting in my seat."
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  Hockey Face-Off
Q: How do you know a leper is playing ice hockey? A: There's a 'face-off' in the corner.
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