Sports Joke Cafe
   Help support our sports joke site:

Main Menu


Latest Submitted Jokes

What do masturbation and Billiards have in common?

Q: What do Billiards and masturbation have in common?

A: it's all about the stroke!

Luis Suarez

What's Luis Suarez favorite food?


Spir... ›› View Full Joke

Paintball Jokes

Listed below is a collection of Funny Paintball Sports Jokes, Jokes about Paintball. has a large funny joke collection sorted by sport category

  Paintballer Walking By
My team and i were sitting on the field when a 16 year old paintballer goes walking by. NOTE he has spike multicolored hair, and every time he would walk by he would see us staring at him. Till finally he came over and said "whats your problem old man (im 35,) never do anything crazy when you were younger. This was obviously a shot at me. Without missing a beat my brother says "Ya he got stoned and fucked a peacock, we were all just wondering if you were his kid.
View Paintball Sports Joke

  You need a set!
Walking back from a heated game, a fellow player asks a new player how he liked his first paintball experience. "It was fun, but I think I may stick to AirSoft." The player replies, "Why is that?" The new player replies, "Because you don't need balls to play airsoft, you use BBs"
View Paintball Sports Joke

  New player
Walking back from a field, a fellow player asks a new player how he liked his first paintball experience. He looks up and says, "Well its was alright, but I enjoyed socializing with the referees even more. I really felt we had a connection. The other player replies confused "How so?" The new player reassures him, "I'm Schizophrenic, too!"
View Paintball Sports Joke

A man comes to a local paintball field, asking how he can play for free. The field owner says, "Get me a sheep, and you can play for free, for the rest of your life." The player didn't want to know why the owner wanted a sheep, but if it would get him free play for life, he didn't really care. Next door to the field was a huge sheep ranch, so the player went there. He met the shepherd in the field, tending his flock. "Those are nice sheep," the player stated. "They should be," the shepherd said, "they're worth $5,000.00 a head." The player was amazed, undaunted, he wanted to get a sheep, but what was the sense of paying five grand to play for free? "I tell you what," the player suggested, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?" The shepherd agreed and the player made his guess, "Four hundred and forty-three." The farmer was amazed, that's exactly how many sheep he had in this particular pasture. The player went into the flock to collect his prize. The farmer stopped him and said, "If I can guess what you do, will you give me back the sheep?" The player agreed, to which the farmer proudly stated, "You're a professional Paintball tournament player." "You're right," said the player, "How'd you know?" To which the farmer replied, "Put the dog down and I'll tell you."
View Paintball Sports Joke

  Paintballers dog
This new player shows up at the field. While walking out to the first game of the day, a ref notices that the new player has a little dog following him. The ref asks the player if the dog is his, the player answers that it is his dog. "You can't take that dog on the field." The ref says. "I have to take him, he's my 'gallery'." the player says, matter- of- factly. The ref asks the player to explain. The player tells him that every time he eliminates an opposing player, the dog sits up on his haunches and applauds. Dumbfounded, the ref allows the player on the field with the dog. Well, the ref doesn't believe this story for a minute, so he follows the new player around during the first game. Soon the new player eliminates somebody and lo and behold, the dog sits up on its haunches and applauds! "What happens when YOU get eliminated," The ref asks, "What does your dog do then?" "Cartwheels." The player says. The ref asks, "Cartwheels? How many?" The player looks at the dog and says, "I dunno, it depends on how hard I kick him."
View Paintball Sports Joke

  Brain surgery
This guy had to have a brain transplant, and he told the doctor that money was no object and that he wanted the best brain available. "Okay," the doctor said, "We have a heart surgeon's brain for ten thousand dollars, a nuclear scientist's brain for one hundred thousand dollars and a professional paintball referree's brain for one million dollars." The patient was dumbfounded, "Why is the professional paintball referree's brain worth more than surgeon's or scientist's?" The doctor replied, "The professional paintball referree's brain has never been used."
View Paintball Sports Joke

Pages: 1 2 >>next

If you have a funny joke that you would like to submit to this sports category, please click here

Sport Joke Categories
  Paintball Jokes (9)

Links    |    Terms & Conditions    |    Privacy Policy    |    Contact Us    |    Advertise

SportsJokeCafe is your number one source for everything on sports jokes, funny sports jokes, jokes on sports, jokes about sports and kids sports jokes.