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What do masturbation and Billiards have in common?


Q: What do Billiards and masturbation have in common?

A: it's all about the stroke!

Luis Suarez


What's Luis Suarez favorite food?

Ears


Spir... ›› View Full Joke

Skating Jokes


Listed below is a collection of Funny Skating Sports Jokes, Jokes about Skating. SportsJokeCafe.com has a large funny joke collection sorted by sport category


Skating Fail
Funny photo of a figure skating stunt gone wrong.
View Skating Sports Photo


Extreme Roller Coaster Skating
I wonder how much this ride would cost.
View Skating Sports Photo


  Olympic Ice Skating
It is the Olympic men's figure skating. Out comes the Russian competitor, he skates around to some classical music in a slightly dull costume, performs some excellent leaps but without any great artistic feel for the music. The Judges' scores read: Britain 5. 8: Russia 5. 9: United States 5. 5: Ireland 6. 0 Next comes the American competitor in a sparkling stars and stripes costume, skating to some rock and roll music. He gets the crowd clapping, but is not technically as good as the Russian. He slightly misses landing a triple Salchow and loses the center during a spin. But, artistically, it is a more satisfying performance. The Judges' scores read: Britain 5. 8: Russia 5. 5: United States 5. 9: Ireland 6. 0 Finally out comes the Irish competitor wearing a tatty old donkey jacket, with his skates tied over his wellies. He reaches the ice, trips straight away and bangs his nose which starts bleeding. He tries to get up, staggers a few paces then slips again. He spends his entire 'routine' getting up then falling over again. Finally he crawls off the ice a tattered and bleeding mess. The Judges' scores read: Britain 0. 0: Russia 0. 0: United States 0. 0: Ireland 6. 0 The other 3 judges turn to the Irish judge and demand in unison, "How the hell can you give that mess 6. 0?!"
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  The bad news
Once there was a footballer, he got hit and his leg was broken. Afterall he was in the hospital.
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  Three Convicts
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated. On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?" The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail." Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?" The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games." The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?" The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I brought these." The other two were puzzled and asked, "What can you do with those?" He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, skating...."
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  Cheating
Three guys are standing outside the gates of heaven. God tells them that however faith full they were to their wife's, the better the car they will get for heaven. God asks the first guy He replies: " I never cheated on my wife once " So god rewards him with a ford. The second guy replies " i only cheated on her a couple of times" So god rewards him with a mustang. The third guy replies " i cheated on my wife all the time " So god gives him a scooter. Later on the guy on the scooter is riding around when he sees the man with the ford crying, he asks what is wrong. The man crying replies " i just saw my wife go by on skates"
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